a man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river but then he's still left with the river. A man takes his sadness and throws it away but then he's still left with his hands.
“Idon’t know, Sam… I thought we could have some fun together. I heard from an old friend of mine that you used to have a little thing for demon blood?”
❝ i don’t do that any more.❞
[ his gaze hardens, a muscle in his neck jumping as his jaw clenches. he doesn’t. he’s learned his lesson. ]
SAM WINCHESTER MEME: ✿ favorite quotes about sam [2/2] – “Sam, Sam, Sam. Hey, hey… Come here, come here, let me look at you. Oh, hey look, hey look at me it’s not even that bad. It’s not even that bad, alright? Sammy, Sam! Hey, listen to me, we are going to patch you up, okay… You’ll be as good as new. Huh? I’m going to take care of you. I’m going to take care of you. I gotcha. It’s my job, right, watch out for my pain-in-the-ass little brother… Sam… Sam… Sammy!”
I was proud; I was amazed by what he has done. I was somehow positive.
But this episode, Dean’s reactions, Cas’ reactions. I am scared for him.
Because until now it seems like he had some hope, he tried to talk to Dean, he succeeded (barely, but he did ) Dean did woke him up to come with to Cas (only later did I understood that he used him as a solider to give commands to and not as a partner to consult with or work with)
And the end broke me completely.
So, Dean are we gonna talk about it ?[Trying to talk . not lashing out. not accusing, leaving an open window for Dean to talk. ]
Yeah, I lied, but you were being an infant.[Dismissing him, calling him in names. ‘your word doesn’t count, Sam’. ]
Wow, even for you that apology sucked.[But Sam still hopes there was an apology there. ]
Oh, I’m not apologizing, I’m telling you how it’s gonna be….[Let’s make it clear Sammy]… From here on I’m calling the shots, capisce? [Dismissing smile] …. we are not a team. This is a dictatorship. Now, you don’t have to like it, but that’s how it’s gonna be.
That speech, that ’ one sided conversation’ is horrifying, I think that even if Sam wanted to run away now, he couldn’t. he is worried about Dean, but I think that today he starts to be scared of him too.
And all the time, all that horrifying speech, Cas is not that far, he can hear every word. Yet he is not interfering.
The only person Sam thought might be a friend, won’t say a thing now.
He is completely alone. He is trying so hard, but how long can that last? how long can he keep himself safe? how long will he have to suffer all of this by himself?
Dean won’t let him help, won’t listen, and wouldn’t move. Yet Sam stays, and tries, again and again and again because you don’t give up on family.
But it breaks my heart, and I am scared for him.
Please bear in mind: I do love Dean, but lately, I am very very upset, scared, and angry with him as well. I do know he will break through and come back grown.
But until then, Sam is suffering, and he is alone! in s4 (blood addict) and S6 (soulless) Dean wasn’t alone. he had bobby, he had Cas, there were other people that helped him deal with Sam. and yes, Cas is there now, but I’m not sure how much Sam can rely on him after his silence today. And I’m scared.
[ Okay wow. I recently had to relocate my blog with little warning, and I honestly didn’t think I’d gain many of my 500+ followers back. But every day, a few more people hit that little button on the corner of my blog. I meant to do this a few days ago, the numbers have grown since I hit 100, but it just really meant a lot to me that people came back after I changed from schonenherbst to autumnxbelle. And now I’ve hit 1/5 of the followers I used to have, which still means a lot because as a female oc, it’s difficult. I’ just so glad and so thankful that people enjoy writing with me. ]
[ Annnnd now I’m done being sappy cause fuck that noise. Onto the shit everyone is really here for, the follow forevers! Hollah. I was gonna do that thing where you write nice things about your tumblr bffs but I actually don’t know what to write so sorry you little fucks you don’t get a blurb. And fuck that whole bolding and italicizing thing I’m lazy as fuck if you’re on here I love you. The end. ]
